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Here's another message board topic and resulting thread from our members. It gets a little "silly" in some parts, but it is loaded with GREAT information

posted July 14, 2003 01:13 PM

Sorry if this seems like Miss Manners question, but what is the etiquette on this?

My son is having the head coach plus two assistance coach over to the house. (Home Visit)

It's right at dinner time. Should we serve dinner, or just offer drinks and snacks?

From: Frostbite Falls. MN

posted July 14, 2003 01:23 PM

My opinion would be that it all depends on what kind of message you want to send. Offering dinner makes it all a lot more intimate and settled-looking, so if this is a school of first-priority interest to your son then do invite them to join you for dinner. The suggestion of dinner might be done in the confirmation phone call just prior to the visit so that there is no misunderstanding.

From: Orlando, FL

posted July 14, 2003 01:35 PM

My personal opinion is that I don't think an invitation to eat dinner with the player and his family is appropriate. For one thing you place the coach/recruiter in the uncomfortable position of possibly having to say "no". Also, when you invite a stranger to dinner you would need to know whether he's a meat eater or a vegetarian; what cuisine does he like; if he is Muslim, he won't eat pork; etc., etc., etc. (I'm serious.) Today, people have so many different diets and cuisines until you would have to ask a few questions in order to find out what he eats.

For the few in home visits we had, we offered cold bottled water, tea and/or soda's. This appeared to be sufficient.

From: Georgia

posted July 14, 2003 01:51 PM

Thank you for your responses...Could I ask more questions. (Newbie ones for sure)

  1. What can we expect from this home visit? Is this a way to speak to my 04 on a personal level face to face? Are they checking the family out too? What kind of questions will they be asking? (It seems that each telephone call is the same...same order of questions, same sales pitch on college, etc)
  2. Should my son discuss that other colleges are doing home visits as well?
  3. Lastly, do colleges do the hard sale? Offer a scholarship for this night only?
From: Frostbite Falls. MN

posted July 14, 2003 02:23 PM

I always offered dinner to any coaches, scouts, agents, or financial advisors that came to our home. Some took us up on the offer and others politely declined. Many of these guys travel long distances for visits and might appreciate a home cooked meal and relaxed conversation around a dinner table. When they did accept I always asked if they had any special dietary requests...none did. I usually cooked something simple and universal ...chicken breasts on the grill with veggies seemed to be a favorite. On nights when I didn't have time to cook, I picked up a pan of lasagna from a local Italian restaurant. We never served alcohol when coaches or scouts came, but my husband did offer beer and/or wine to agents.

After dinner, the coaches usually gave a short presentation of some sort in our family room and answered our questions. They want to get to know your son, so allow him to ask and answer questions as much as possible. I think it's always best to be honest when answering general questions, but you might want to wait with any specific answers or decisions until you've had time to discuss them privately as a family.

We never ran into any "high pressure" situations, but know that would have been a negative in any decision. All in all, home visits were a great time to learn more about each other and the process. Remember ...you are both looking for a great fit.

From: Dallas area

posted July 14, 2003 02:35 PM

SO...at what point does someone get an in home visit? like before official visit..or fall...we've just literally experienced the July 1 timeline...

what to expect next? (well, that is if we're lucky enough to see more)...

From: New Boston, Texas

posted July 14, 2003 02:37 PM

I'm sure it is different for everyone. But basically they had a copy of the questionnaire that we had previously completed and asked some of the same questions at first. Then by the end of the discussion, they wanted to know how serious my son was about playing for them. One recruiter wanted to know if we were considering other offers. What were we looking for in terms of scholarship money. We answered honestly. But we also said that we were leaving all of our options open. We were also given plenty of opportunities to ask questions which sparked quite a bit of discussion in each case. No one offered a scholarship during the visit. One of the home visitors called back to offer a scholarship. Son eventually signed and played for a coach who had never seen him play nor visited our home before signing. Go figure!

From: Georgia

posted July 14, 2003 02:51 PM

I would offer the coach some Old Charter to kinda feel out his moral standards. If he accepts the Old Charter, his moral standards are below par but you can start to believe what he says in about an hour.

On a serious note, The coach is wanting to "buy" your son, but he actually does this by trying to sell "his" college and his program. This visit is a chance for the coach to sell his wares. Many parents get it turned around backwards and think this visit is a chance for the parents to sell their son. The coach is not there to listen to your sales pitch. Put it all in perspective. I wouldn't push the fact that other colleges are recruiting your son. This is pretty much a given. Of course if you are asked what the other colleges are offering, I would skirt the issue. Coaches may or may not make offers during an in-home visit but rest assured they aren't expecting an answer the same day. An offer was made on my son's first visit and no deadline for acceptance was given. I made it a point to ask each coach if there were any deadlines for acceptance. Some did give deadlines. If they are wanting an answer before they leave, tell them you'd like to talk it over as a family. Recruiting is a process and not a one day event. My son's first in-home we did offer some snacks to the coaches and they did accept. They also asked for seconds. It was a very exciting time for the whole family. After a few other visits and more offers started coming in, I cancelled the snack option. Remember, you're in the driver's seat. Best of luck,

From: Spring Creek (Jackson),Tennessee

posted July 14, 2003 02:57 PM

Have your son wear something besides shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops. Dress for the occasion, not slacks, button down shirt and tie but give the coach some respect and dress accordingly.

From: OKC, OK, USA

posted July 14, 2003 03:15 PM

Be yourself !!!!

From: Manchester, CT USA

posted July 14, 2003 03:32 PM

I'd have to disagree with Brian, go the sympathy route. Jack the car up in the driveway and take off the tires, no shoes on the wife and kids, and plastic cups in the china cabinet. Every percent you can get helps.

From: Madison Wi

posted July 14, 2003 03:36 PM

Are these a legit questions by 04 son?

How do you see me fitting in your team? (04 is a two way player)
What do you like about my game, and what do I need to improve on? (to see if they have seen him play)

What does the scholarship include? (tuition ,dorm, food, book?)

Do you have tutors to help your players?

Any other questions?

From: Frostbite Falls. MN

posted July 14, 2003 04:07 PM

Those questions sound great!

Some other questions you might want to ask ...

  1. What GPA is required to keep academic money ...if his scholarship is blended?
  2. What student athlete academic support does your school provide? Do you have any college skills classes or programs? Mandatory study halls?
  3. How do you feel about players signing pro contracts after their junior year?
  4. What kind of community service programs or fund raisers do your players participate in?
  5. Do you help players with summer team placement? Where do you see our son playing next summer?
  6. What do you expect the depth chart to look like next year at your son's position(s)? We never asked this in the home visit, but ...
If they do present an offer, make sure you have a clear understanding of the total dollar amount you will have to pay. Percentages can be very vague.

P.S. Even if your son is highly recruited, I still believe you should try to make a good impression during a home visit. Remember...your son might work for these men next year.

From: Dallas area

posted July 14, 2003 06:26 PM

Great posts! We fed the coaches, but we kept the in house visits to schools that he wanted to visit too. It came down to 3 coaches and we fed all three. Before they arrived, we had researched the total costs of every school and asked and received what they would give in total dollars.

The coaches at the school that he ended up going to did not visit, as he knew both of them very well and his main concern was to go on his visit. They had an offer on the table before he went on his visit too. The three coaches that did visit layed out their offer while in our home.

From: usa

Glove Man
posted July 14, 2003 06:44 PM
Don't offer them a no-name brew that was only $2.61 a 6 pack. Bitter beer face doesn't go over too well with these guys.

And don't ever, under any circumstance ask them when they were gonna hand you the keys to the new Mercedes. Let them do that on their own, they know when the timing is right!

From: Houston, TX

posted July 14, 2003 07:44 PM

There are no Mercedes in college baseball !!!

From: Manchester, CT USA

posted July 14, 2003 11:14 PM

My kid's looking for the Ferrari!!

From: Texas

Glove Man
posted July 15, 2003 08:46 AM

Oh yeah I'm sorry I thought I was on hsfootballweb.com or hsbasketballweb.com, sorry about that I think they have a similar topic!

Except their topic is titled, "When to call the boosters"

From: Houston, TX

posted July 15, 2003 09:25 AM

Here's a link to some articles that we have put together on the subject:

Recruiting Visits

From: Tennessee

posted July 15, 2003 07:34 PM

Thanks for all the information...This web site is priceless!

From: Frostbite Falls. MN

posted August 26, 2003 08:10 PM

We've had two home visits so far - both around lunch time. I had a light meal ready for both, just in case. From my perspective, it made the event less formal - more of a conversation versus a meeting.

From: Northern California

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